Yesterday I shared my daughter’s first day of work. You might wonder why I would share something like that. I did because 1) I was proud of her for getting not one, but two jobs completely on her own 2) she signed up for a double shift her first day and 3) she started working 2 weeks after her 16th birthday. Last night I discovered she had logged into my social media and deleted my picture.
Ever since middle school she has asked for me not to identify her by name on social media, and I have to ask before posting anything about her on Instagram (Facebook is for old people, therefore unregulated). She also asked for me to rename our family blog because it identified where we live. (Keep in mind that my blog gets about 30 views per post, and those views are from actual friends). She also asked that I delete any pictures of her on the blog. Now, before someone chimes in with the thought that she is just a private person, check out her Insta, especially the group pic of her and her new school friends last spring in their barely there bikinis all cuddle up together for a group selfie (remember this was in the middle of a global pandemic). Or the pic a friend took of her sitting in the middle of Franklin St at night. It is as if she is trying to control my narrative, and that is not ok to me.
It broke my heart to delete all of my pics of her on our family blog. And I have had friends ask why I refer to her as “the teen girl” because it seems so cold and impersonal. Writing is my therapy, and while I have agreed to her conditions of what I can post about her, she will not control my narrative.
So fellow moms of teens, how do you navigate your story and what you share about your kiddos? I feel like I have been overly accommodating to her requests, but deleting my social media content is just not ok.